So for me, ‘Snowpocalypse 2011’ has turned in an ‘EatEverythingInTheKitchenalypse’. Not good. That batch of healthier no-bake cookies yesterday—were all gone by the end of the day.
I will edit to attach photos once I stop being lazy and hook up my Evo to my computer.
I also ate pizza again (even though pizza made me nauseous Monday) and didn’t work out. I was supposed to do day 2 of INSANITY but my calves are so sore from all the jumping!
However, I did do day 2 of INSANITY today. Still craziness like I remember. Still wanting to die during the intervals. But I do remember that it gets easier and that is helping me stick to it. I do have a purple bridesmaid’s dress to fit into, after all. I got an 8 but it’s just not completely zipping up in the back and I don’t think I will ever be ok to get a 10. I have until April 2 so I really need to step it up. Ordering Chinese food for dinner didn’t help.
Speaking of self-sabotage, I’m a huge nerd and listen to audiobooks on my way to and from work. Most of them are self-help books because I’m a sucker for motivational speakers and they do occasionally help sometimes. I guess I must be absorbing a portion of their messages as I yell at drivers and cut off grandmas not going the speed limit. Anyway, I was listening to a Course in Weight Loss (mostly because Oprah recommended it) and she was saying that sometimes people don’t “allow” themselves to lose weight because they feel like that will make their life too perfect, and they don’t deserve to have a perfect life. When they are overweight, they can feel better around their peers. “See, I don’t have everything, I’m a little overweight!”
Anyway, I was listening and it suddenly hit me—that is me. Then I thought about how many times a day I think about my weight and to not have that be an issue in my life would be so liberating. What would I worry about? Same thing with debt. I should have been credit card debt free by September but I keep self-sabotaging because, if I didn’t have weight or debt, what would I have left to worry about?
Well the self-sabotaging ends today because I’m sick of my stomach always being bloated because of what I eat, I’m sick of looking at my net worth on Mint.com and noticing it is in the negative, and I’m sick of disallowing myself from being happy.