Truth. My last post was ironically about Christmas even before Thanksgiving. Ironic considering I hate it when people buy Christmas stuff before Thanksgiving. And then I turned around and punished my blog by not posting for 47 days. Fortunately for the blog, it shouldn’t feel too bad, because I’m bad at a lot of other things, like,
Not Drinking Soda. Lord, bury me with a can of Diet Dr. Pepper in my mitts because I am taking that aspartamey goodness straight with me to the grave. Who cares about kidneys or cancer when those 23 flavors are sliding down your throat?
Washing Things That Should be Washed. Those guest bed sheets? Yeah…haven’t washed those since 3 people ago. Have fun sleeping in 3 other people’s sweat, sucker!
Staying Away From Email. Obsessed. Especially since it’s on my phone. Curse you, smart phone! Wait, I didn’t mean that. Evo, please forgive me.
Not Talking to the Dogs. Yes. I get they aren’t people. But they understand me, especially when I say the words “outside” and “food”. The words “go clean the toilet, you need to earn your room and board”? Not so much.
Being a Lady. I fart and burp more than I should, I say really awkward things and always accidentally wave back at strangers who were waving at their friends behind me. It’s just not a good situation happening here. However, I manage to bring the best beer to parties, so luckily, most people are willing to overlook my burps and constant waving. It’s the price they pay for getting to drink Red Stripe.