I’d like to think of myself as a fairly classy lady. Although, “thinking of” and actually being are two separate things. My duality is probably from my parents, who are so different it’s not too hard to distinguish why they got divorced when I was 14.
Don’t get me wrong; both are great parents, but while my mom is classy and acts appropriately in most situations, my dad is intentionally ripping farts in aisle two of the local Wal-Mart, senselessly victimizing other patrons to the aftereffects of a steady diet of pizza and Pepsi One.
Example, I love Frank Sinatra.
Example, I love this extremely trashy/questionable song by Krayshawn (her name basically explains all you need to know; I won’t be offended if you don’t hit play).
Example, I’ve increased my monthly income 65% in the last 4 years. Pretty classy and Linda-like, if you ask me.
Example, I convinced Allegra to go buy dinner at the bowling alley across the street from where we were watching fireworks on the Fourth of July. Then we took it outside, to eat it on the grass. Totally a John move (that turned out to also be delicious).
I’d like to think that I personify the best of both parents—one, I am dedicated and a pro at keeping it all together, and two, I had a unique sense of humor that a small amount of people can probably appreciate.
Two completely separate halves, making a semi-productive, pretty fantastic, whole. Kind of like this audio-is-NSFW video: