I have a guilty pleasure. It’s infomercials. Bonus points if I actually own the item in the infomercial (yes, I still watch it). I prefer the non-cheesy ones, but I’ll take what I can get when it’s 2am and I can’t sleep, or it’s Saturday morning and I’m scarfing down peanuts.
On this morning, I watched an infomercial on the Nutribullet (which couldn’t have come at a better time, because my MagicBullet has been on its last legs). Then, a TotalGym commercial comes on. Well, I can’t change it because it’s Chuck Norris and ever since Walker, Texas Ranger went off the air, I just don’t get enough Master Norris in my life.
Anyway, I was looking up reviews on the Nutribullet, Chuck drops a bombshell on me. He has a son. Named Dakota. Dakota Norris.
I feel like Dakota Norris could kick my ass and I wouldn’t even know what was happening. He climbs that rope like a feral spider monkey.
I feel like I own Master Norris an apology. How did I not know? It is now my duty to educate the world about Dakota Norris, in case his wild kid strength turns into the amazing, lethal superpowers of his father.