I have a guilty pleasure. It’s infomercials. Bonus points if I actually own the item in the infomercial (yes, I still watch it). I prefer the non-cheesy ones, but I’ll take what I can get when it’s 2am and I can’t sleep, or it’s Saturday morning and I’m scarfing down peanuts.
On this morning, I watched an infomercial on the Nutribullet (which couldn’t have come at a better time, because my MagicBullet has been on its last legs). Then, a TotalGym commercial comes on. Well, I can’t change it because it’s Chuck Norris and ever since Walker, Texas Ranger went off the air, I just don’t get enough Master Norris in my life.
Anyway, I was looking up reviews on the Nutribullet, Chuck drops a bombshell on me. He has a son. Named Dakota. Dakota Norris.
I feel like Dakota Norris could kick my ass and I wouldn’t even know what was happening. He climbs that rope like a feral spider monkey.
I feel like I own Master Norris an apology. How did I not know? It is now my duty to educate the world about Dakota Norris, in case his wild kid strength turns into the amazing, lethal superpowers of his father.
Looks like you’re as huge Master Norris fan as I am. Great.
Making a Dakota Norris joke just doesn’t sound as satisfying, or as effective.
Dakota is the perfect name for Chuck Norris’ kid.