Chuck Norris Has Offspring?!

by | Apr 13, 2013 | ecetera, Pop Culture

I have a guilty pleasure. It’s infomercials. Bonus points if I actually own the item in the infomercial (yes, I still watch it). I prefer the non-cheesy ones, but I’ll take what I can get when it’s 2am and I can’t sleep, or it’s Saturday morning and I’m scarfing down peanuts.

On this morning, I watched an infomercial on the Nutribullet (which couldn’t have come at a better time, because my MagicBullet has been on its last legs). Then, a TotalGym commercial comes on. Well, I can’t change it because it’s Chuck Norris and ever since Walker, Texas Ranger went off the air, I just don’t get enough Master Norris in my life.

Anyway, I was looking up reviews on the Nutribullet, Chuck drops a bombshell on me. He has a son. Named Dakota. Dakota Norris.

I had no idea. Mind blown.

 

I feel like Dakota Norris could kick my ass and I wouldn’t even know what was happening. He climbs that rope like a feral spider monkey.

I feel like I own Master Norris an apology. How did I not know? It is now my duty to educate the world about Dakota Norris, in case his wild kid strength turns into the amazing, lethal superpowers of his father.

Kelsey Jones

Kelsey Jones

Founder/Chief Marketing Consultant at Six Stories
Kelsey Jones helps clients around the world grow their social media, content, and search marketing presence. She enjoys writing and consuming all kinds of content, both in digital and tattered paperback form.
Kelsey Jones
Kelsey Jones